Someone on your team messages you in the morning to say that a parent has passed away. You have no template for this, probably no written policy, and roughly an hour before the first decision is due.
Our position is direct: what happens in the first few days determines whether that person is functioning again after a few weeks, or whether this becomes a long absence and, in the worst case, a resignation.
This article covers what you decide, what you say, and what you offer.
The first days: be reachable, take the pressure off
When an employee is bereaved, the first days are less about perfect words and more about being reachable, removing pressure, and naming one clear point of contact.
Reach out briefly and honestly, but do not overwhelm. A short message that says you are there and expect nothing is worth more than a long note full of questions. Name a single point of contact, usually the direct manager or HR, so your employee does not have to explain the situation over and over.
Take the work pressure off immediately. In the first week, there is no expectation of availability and no question about a return date. And make it clear the job is secure. Money worries and job anxiety on top of grief are avoidable, and adding them is needlessly cruel.
Getting this right is the biggest step to an employee coming back to work soon and at a better emotional state.
Three decisions come due within one working day
After an employee takes bereavement leave, three decisions are immediately due: the length of paid leave, cover for day-to-day work, and who inside the company is told.
All three usually land with the same manager, who is facing them for the first time. If the answer to the first one is “let me check the contract and get back to you“, the bereaved person has already learned that this is going to be extra work. A company that has fixed its standard in advance answers in two sentences.
Bereavement leave in Germany rests on § 616 BGB
In Germany, paid leave after the passing of a close relative derives from § 616 BGB, provided that this section has not been excluded in the employment contract or the applicable Tarifvertrag.
§ 616 BGB covers temporary personal prevention from working for a relatively short period. The statute names no number of days for a bereavement, and what applies in practice comes from case law and from the relevant Tarifverträge.
Excluding § 616 BGB is legally permitted and regularly seen in German contracts. Check which regime applies to you before you promise anything, then set a house standard that matches what you would consider reasonable in hindsight.
The first message contains three things
A first message to a bereaved employee should contain a short personal condolence, a clear commitment on leave, and one named contact person.
The line “let me know if you need anything” is kindly meant and hands the entire coordination burden to someone who is currently applying for death certificates. Naming what is already handled works better: leave confirmed through a specific date, who is covering open items, who will get in touch in a week without being asked.
Do not ask for details about the passing, but about the things you can influence.
The employee decides what the team is told
How much the team is told is decided by the bereaved employee, and the manager asks for that decision explicitly.
Some people want everyone to know so they are not retelling it thirty times. Others want the opposite, and a manager cannot guess which. One question in the first week settles it for good: what should the team know, and would you like me to handle telling them?
Official deadlines run during the leave
A passing must be reported to the Standesamt within a few Werktage, and Werktag under § 28 PStG includes Saturday.
This matters to you because “take the week off” often misses what the week actually contains. The first days after a passing consist of appointments, deadlines, and forms rather than rest. For many people, the harder period arrives later, once the paperwork is done and ordinary life resumes.
Your staffing plan should account for that second point in time.
Return to work is a period, not a date
Returning to work after a bereavement is best planned as a period of several weeks: reduced responsibility in the first days, no critical commitments in week one, and a scheduled conversation after roughly four weeks.
Concentration and capacity come back unevenly after a loss, and that is not a performance question. Someone required to run a client presentation in week two that a colleague could have run will read it as a signal. If reduced capacity persists and is medically certified, the ordinary rules on continued pay apply.
What belongs in writing beforehand
An internal policy on bereavement in the workforce covers four points and fits on one page.
- Length of paid leave, graded by closeness of the relationship, stated independently of whether § 616 BGB is excluded
- Ownership: who makes contact, when, and who takes over open work
- Communication rule: the bereaved employee decides what the team is told
- Support: what the company concretely provides, available without an application process
That page takes about two hours in a calm week. During an actual case it does not get written at all.
Where Meolea fits
Meolea is a family handover platform that companies offer their employees as a benefit: Advance planning (Vorsorge) and organised documents before anything happens, and structured guidance through deadlines and authorities afterwards.
HR gets a separate dashboard covering seats and activations, plus templates and communication guidance for the moment an employee chooses to disclose a personal situation. When a passing occurs, the employee activates the Comfort area, and the company does not have to improvise a one-off arrangement.
And remember, the employee part can be treated as an employee benefit (Sachbezug)!
Meolea as a bereavement benefit
Offer your team real relief in the event of a loss, and provide Meolea as an employee benefit!
Your employee gets guidance through a hard time, and you know you can offer more than a condolence card when it counts. Talk to us if you would like to see how this could work for your company!
Frequently asked questions
How many days of special leave are there after a death in Germany?
There is no fixed statutory number. Under §616 BGB, paid leave may apply unless it is excluded in the employment contract. Collective agreements such as the TVöD name concrete figures, for example two working days on the death of a close relative.
Do I have to pay for the special leave in Germany?
If §616 BGB applies and is not contractually excluded, generally yes. Check the employment contract and any collective agreement.
What if the employee is absent for longer?
If the grief becomes something that needs treatment, a doctor’s sick note is possible. That is a normal and legitimate route.